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iPhone 〜

So I’m soo excited to finally say that I have an iphone!! I’ve wanted one for like 3 years.. and never was able to get one cause of the price but now we were able to get one and I got the beautiful white one … And I love it!!
I haven’t really gotten to play around with it and don’t know which apps I should get! I didn’t have many on my last phone either.. cause I didn’t really like many of the games anymore (like Angry Birds. lol)

Anyways, I’m excited about it! But …still stressed about everything else in the world

Merrrrrr

Feeling extra depressed tonight for some reason.. Sorta all day I’ve felt a bit off.

I’m not sure the exact reason as to why I got to feeling sad, but I know it has to do with my Texas situation..

I haven’t gotten back the tax forms to send to Texas State to finish my fafsa.. and I’m really, and I mean REALLY worried that I won’t be awarded much money.. not enough money to go. I don’t know how fafsa works but I’m scared.

I’ll be absolutely devistated if I can’t go. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything and it means more than anything ever has.. it’s a big step in my life and all for the better.

I want to finally live a life I want.. all this time, up until now, I’ve just been living for this day. And I’m sick of living just waiting. It’s so tiresome and stressful after time.. And after doing it for  over 3 years, it’s time for it to end. I can’t take it anymore.. I need to continue on with my life being somewhere I love, with someone I love, getting the degree I want, and experiencing something different, something that I really do want. I want to be in a place where no one knows my name and no one can judge me and no one knows what I did and who I was. I want to start anew; I’m the same person, but I don’t want things from the past to be present in people’s minds.

Sigh

Tonight is just another night where I cry until I fall asleep…listening to music… alternating from sigur ros to korean indie. At least that’s something that makes my mood somewhat better.. and my life a bit more bearable. Listening to music in other languages has a way of calming me down.. for reasons I can’t explain.

Summertime~

Since summer is coming around quickly, I figured I needed some summer clothes, you know?

I think my outfit was cute and I’ve been obsessed with this belt that I got from Daily Look
So my mom was kind enough to give me $40 of Kohls cash so I went there first~

I picked out this dress, that normally I wouldn’t go for cause I didn’t think it was my style.. and it wasn’t really, but it still looked really cute on and it was super pretty! And I liked it most cause it has a shorter front and lower back

I also got the shorts in the below pic.. I needed a pair of lighter wash shorts and these ones were cute and fit well except there’s this ugly logo on the back by the belt loops.. but I figured my shirt or belt would cover it up most of the times!

Okay and then I went to Forever 21 and I always feel disappointed when I go there cause I never find anything good and I feel like everyone else gets really cool stuff there

But I got two tank tops and a black skirt.. Also some bracelets and a necklace but I didn’t feel like taking those pics

And idk why I put my DailyLook belt in with that stuff.. but … .oh well. haha. But yeah I got the belt and it was like under $20 I think.. and it’s really cute

And when I saw this shirt I just had to have it because it’s sooo me and I loved it so much and so.. yes, I did get it and and and I love it so much

I’m also obsessed with these Victoria secret T-shirts.. They’re so comfy and cute and I have 7 now! These are the recent ones I bought.. I love the dark gray one and the pink one is something I don’t really wear anymore but it still looks cute and I loved the color, so I just bought it.. And they’re actually pretty cheap.. It’s 2 for $28 so $14 for a super comfy and good quality shirt is a great deal in my eyes

Ugh

I reorganzied my photobucket gifs and now some of the links are broken.

-_________- fml. I’m going to have to go back to each post and redo them cause I’m ocd about that.
meh

One More Thought

One thing that made me happy today was that finally someone didn’t complain about me wanting to go to Texas.. My mom mentioned that Texas had the new major I was looking into.. And Christina just said, ‘Another high school sweetheart??’ And she just smiled.. and it was nice.. and a lot better than the usual, ‘whatt!???! nooo you can’t go.’ Also.. to me.. it did seem that my mom mentioned me going more than she usually does.. idk. Just a thought. I sure hope it’s a good sign, because I want this more than anything!!

母の日

Today was Mother’s Day! And to celebrate my mother for all she does, I made her an adorable gift and an adorable card and bought her this adorable blue tumbler since she’s always driving around and our one car doesn’t have air conditioning so I figured an ice cold drink throughout the day would be perfect.

So, I made these candles… Cause I saw them on Martha Stewart.. ahaha.. And I have three big bags of shells just laying around that me and my mom have collected from Florida over the year. So I thought it was perfect cause it’s something we found together made into a gift so it’s a little bit more special.

And then I made dinner! I made these H.A.T sammiches. It had ham, asparagus, tomato, spinach and cheese! It was sooo good! Very filling too~

Then I made potato salad, but I didn’t cook the potatoes all the way through so they were a little hard.

And last I made these spinach chips and used a bunch of spices and I think I might have made them too spicy actually but my mom and dad both loved them…they loved everything actually! So I was happy about that.

And for dessert, I went out and bought Coldstone ice cream cookie sandwiches. I had the cake batter one with sprinkles. Oh myyy.. It was so delicious! But it was really big and I was getting sick by the end of it

So the day was good! My mom was happy, so I was happy too! Even though I feel like my mom has been unfair about the whole Texas State thing, she has done a lot for me so I needed to pay her back with what I can. So thank you mom, for all you’ve done for me my whole life and please keep supporting me with everything I do in life.

I love you!

Horoscope Rant

Pisces May 9 2012
A long-running venture that you are still dealing with may look bad on the surface, Pisces. Luckily, though, you are a very intuitive sign. So deep down you know that this will all work out. Even though the obvious signs may point to a failure or a big disappointment, you have to keep listening to that little voice in your head that keeps reminding you that it will all be all right if you simply persevere. Hey, you’ve made it this far. You’ve trudged through the most difficult aspects of this venture and you’ve held your head high. Just a little more of that, and you’ll see it through. Keep your chin up.

It’s been awhile since I’ve even looked at my horoscope.. which is unusual for me because I am sooo religious about it! But I think it was because they were starting to get me depressed cause they were always saying how the thing i’ve been waiting for to happen was coming… and it didn’t.

And even though this horoscope says pretty much the same thing, this time it made me happy. Today I think I may have finished the last step in getting everything set up for going to Texas State.. except for the fact that my parents still completely disregard that I’m wanting to go there at all. I mean all this summer vacation, my mom has only said things like, ‘when you start getting a job here..’ Well, actually, mom, I don’t want to live here. Or random things about next year at GV… Um.. actually I don’t want to go to that school. And what irks me even more is when she doesn’t acknowledge Danny whatsoever.. Like he’s not even in my life and that we’re not dating and we don’t have any feelings for eachother. She always is encouraging me to find someone who can do this and that… and then says things like, you can bring a date..I don’t know who he’d be though. Like really?? … I mean it’s not like we’ve had an awful relationship where he’s physically and mentally abused me or that we broke up a million times and gets back together the next day.. It’s never been like that so I don’t understand her hostility towards him. He’s done nothing but make me happy. (except for the times when we get in dumb fights.. ) When we’re together it’s indescribable how happy and perfect everything feels.. It all just feels so right. I wish my parents could see that. All I’ve ever wanted for the past 4-5 years is to be with him. I just wanted him and no one else.. (except for that dumb time) But since the times we broke up and the times I wanted something else were all me… that’s just reasons for his mom to hate me, but she doesn’t. All in all, I just don’t think it’s fair for my mom to dislike him so much. And when I’ve called her out on it, she says she doesn’t hate him. Just like that.. and when someone says shit like that you know it means they don’t like that person. But I feel soo bad because Danny never wants to come here, and I really don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to stay somewhere where I felt unwelcome and hated.. But there’s no other way right now.. so I just feel so bad for him It makes me cry.. I just want for us to be accepted in my family and for some reason we’re not. .And that’s my only other wish besides them understanding my want/need to go to Texas State…

Anyways.. I am pretty excited about this horoscope and I truly believe good things are sure to come my way!

Penn State

Over the weekend, my family and I went to Penn State for my sister’s graduation! I was pretty excited cause I haven’t been there in a long time.. Also haven’t been anywhere special in a long time so it was a lot of fun!

The bad part was the amount of driving that we had to do! 7 hours there and then we had a hotel 45 outside of Penn State so driving there everyday was a bit annoying. We got there on Friday to the bed and breakfast and then went to pick my sister up to go eat. . And we were all craving a Philly Cheesesteak.. so that’s what we got and it was sooo delicious!! Ahhh I want another one..

We went to a place called Bradley’s in state college!

The next day, we went to Penn State early in the morning cause it was her graduation day and we wanted to go to this breakfast thing with her at 10.. And then we had like 4 hours to kill until the graduation actually started, so she took us to this Arboretum and it was very pretty and calming.

My sissy and I at the Arboretum! We both look pretty I think. The water background is really nice!

And this was a really awesome building that had this big opening like a sun roof and it was just really pretty!

And this was the bed and breakfast we stayed in! It was a Victorian Mansion and the rooms were really cute and fancy looking. I enjoyed my stay there.. It was kinda weird that we ate breakfast with the other guests there though cause.. I’m not very into small talking with adults, especially in the morning when I don’t want to talk to anyone. haha.

And there was a bunch of Victorian style houses so I took so pictures of them! Here’s just one of them I liked.

This was the town, it was pretty small town.

I thought this was really nice. The town put up these banners of soldiers who served from the town on the lamp posts and they were everywhere and I thought it was really nice

The last stop on the trip was to The Creamery to get some delicious ice cream! It’s some of the best ice cream I’d say. I got the mint chocolate chip. And my mom got the peach paterno and I tried that one and it was really good too !

The mountains there are beautiful too! I snapped this when we were driving back.